Each time
more people try to buy by Internet. Nowadays, go shopping has also
evolved and now you can window-shopping without leaving home, it is more
comfortable! However, there are people who not trusts in this, since they can
deceive you.
As I see it, the online shopping are very useful not only you
can save time but also they take the purchase to your house, all that without
moving of your sofa. On the other hand, this technique is dangerous because some
persons become addicted and they spend more money that they have.
In other words, the online shopping are much easier but if you
can not to control yourself can be terrible. Therefore you need head and above
all to have a lot of caution.

go shopping --------- going shopping
ResponderEliminaryou can window-shopping ------- window-shop
home, it is more ------home. It is ....
there are people who not trusts in this ----- ... who don't trust this.
As I see it, the online shopping ---- As I see it, online shopping
the online shopping are very useful not only you can save time but also they take the purchase to your house, all that without moving of your sofa. Punctuation!
more money that they have --- than
if you can not to control yourself can be terrible.---- if you cannot control yourself it can be terrible.
Therefore ---- Therefore,
ADECUACIÓN: 2
COHESIÓN: 1,5
CORRECCIÓN: 0,5
RIQUEZA: 1
Mark: 5